Just a quick, personal update. 
Oh goodness. I hate to fall back on a cliche, but you know how it's said "You don't know what you've got until it's gone?" There is too much truth in that.
A couple weeks ago, I posted to let you guys know what was going on with me personally, what could be prayed for, and soforth. Basically, I was living in Wisconsin and because I could not find employment (nor had a place to stay or food to eat that I could pay for,) I've had to come back home to my family in Pittsburgh for awhile.
As you might have guessed, the flight was quick and safe. (Though I have some bitter opinions about Philly airport, now.) You know, I never thought I'd say it, but I'm getting tired of flying. I remember the first time I flew, it was fantastic and unforgettable. But now, I've done it so many times ...
On one hand, I left winter and came into spring. Honestly, it was still very cold in Wisconsin, and it's been quite warm here since I've gotten here. (It's only snowed once!) AND ... That's about the extent of the good side of things. Heh.
I don't know. It's just that the minute I got back here, I knew I did not want to be here. From getting into the truck with my father, who was very quick to "lay down the rules" (Specifically that I couldn't complain about his smoking inside, or ask him for help finding a job,) to having lived under such a circumstance for three weeks now ... Honestly, I am not sure what to do. There have been number of trying situations already --
For one thing, there is a potential job at a call center I used to work at, and I need to apply by Wednesday. I see a very good chance of getting the job as it seems to be in cable customer service. I worked for a satellite company in the past and I have over a year's worth of experience in the entertainment/customer service area. I have just the experience they are looking for, in fact.
... But I can't get there. My uncle and a friend both have offered to help me get to the interview, and that is well, but as for actually getting to the job each day? I have no idea whatsoever. I am so afraid of being hired and then not being able to show up for work. But I desparately need this job if I am going to be able to afford at all to return to WI. ...On the upside of things, I may be seeing a break in my tax return. I'm suddenly glad that I paid as much as I did in taxes, last year. But in and of itself, it won't be enough. I do need this work, and would be extremely fortunate to get it in my present circumstance.
There is another rather pressing issue, and it is at the other half of what my father told me. I am going to mention it because I would like some feedback: It is the smoking. I'm having a severe reaction to it, and yet I've already agreed not to say anything. But for the past several days now, I have had a pressing sinus migraine. My ears feel dry, my eyes burn constantly, and I have almost no energy at all. It's slowly driving me bed-ridden and it's putting me on the edge. At times, I feel as though I am going to vomit. I am on the second story of the house and my father is in the basement, but it travels up through the heating ducts or something. I am not sure how, but I do not fail to smell it. Has anybody experienced this, and how did you remedy it? I do not have medical coverage so I can't see a doctor.
Oh! And to make the offenses to my senses worse, those stink-bugs that smell like rotten almonds are back. Ugh. I've taken three of them in my room, already. They... buzz in your ears and stink on your clothing and... blech! I can't take it. I'm about convinced that they're crawling into my head and giving me bizarre nightmares. Like, about giving birth to animals and such...lol. (Don't ask.)
Perhaps the greatest burden is the church one. You see, I haven't actually been to a church since I've been back. I don't know who to go to that I might get to one; nor am I confident in most churches I "could" go to. It's easy to see why this would pull me down. It is true in a sense that I can have my fellowship with God through scripture and prayer on my own, and true in a sense that I still have access to the sermons that are being preached in my church back in Milwaukee, but there is still something missing when I cannot join together with the assembly on the Lord's day. Pray that God will not have me in this painful position for too long, as I know He desires His people to meet together.
In general, I do not hope to stay here any longer than I have to. That being, a wedding which I am in for a friend this summer. (Let me add that this girl and her fiance are two very good friends of mine, and having them here does soften the blow of everything else.) If I went back too early, I'd be making yet another trip here and back, and that's just not realistic for someone who is presently broke.
... On the other hand, I'm not precisely sure where I will go or what I will do to go back to Milwaukee. It has all yet to be made clear. It is as clear that my heart is not here, however. I am badly missing the time I long to spend with my church (who are like family to me,) and my boyfriend, and the friends I left in Milwaukee. But I know that it will allow me to appreciate these things more when I am able to return, God willing. You really never do know what you've got until you've had to leave it behind for a time, do you?
So yeah. That's my "whiney" journal, just to assure you all that I'm still human and have issues of my own.
I say most of this simply to vent and also to ask for your prayers and comfort in these things. It is just good to get them out. I am aware that compared to many situations, I am rather blessed to have what I do. But rest assured, I am and will continue to rely on God for all I can, as we all ought to be. Pray that His Spirit endure with me, even as I become frusterated, and that He drive me to strength, and diligence, and wisdom in the choices I make. Without Him, I would be a sinful wretch, but He is faithful to bring about His will in His people for the sake of His glory, and I praise Him for it.
Oh goodness. I hate to fall back on a cliche, but you know how it's said "You don't know what you've got until it's gone?" There is too much truth in that.
A couple weeks ago, I posted to let you guys know what was going on with me personally, what could be prayed for, and soforth. Basically, I was living in Wisconsin and because I could not find employment (nor had a place to stay or food to eat that I could pay for,) I've had to come back home to my family in Pittsburgh for awhile.
As you might have guessed, the flight was quick and safe. (Though I have some bitter opinions about Philly airport, now.) You know, I never thought I'd say it, but I'm getting tired of flying. I remember the first time I flew, it was fantastic and unforgettable. But now, I've done it so many times ...
On one hand, I left winter and came into spring. Honestly, it was still very cold in Wisconsin, and it's been quite warm here since I've gotten here. (It's only snowed once!) AND ... That's about the extent of the good side of things. Heh.
I don't know. It's just that the minute I got back here, I knew I did not want to be here. From getting into the truck with my father, who was very quick to "lay down the rules" (Specifically that I couldn't complain about his smoking inside, or ask him for help finding a job,) to having lived under such a circumstance for three weeks now ... Honestly, I am not sure what to do. There have been number of trying situations already --
For one thing, there is a potential job at a call center I used to work at, and I need to apply by Wednesday. I see a very good chance of getting the job as it seems to be in cable customer service. I worked for a satellite company in the past and I have over a year's worth of experience in the entertainment/customer service area. I have just the experience they are looking for, in fact.
... But I can't get there. My uncle and a friend both have offered to help me get to the interview, and that is well, but as for actually getting to the job each day? I have no idea whatsoever. I am so afraid of being hired and then not being able to show up for work. But I desparately need this job if I am going to be able to afford at all to return to WI. ...On the upside of things, I may be seeing a break in my tax return. I'm suddenly glad that I paid as much as I did in taxes, last year. But in and of itself, it won't be enough. I do need this work, and would be extremely fortunate to get it in my present circumstance.
There is another rather pressing issue, and it is at the other half of what my father told me. I am going to mention it because I would like some feedback: It is the smoking. I'm having a severe reaction to it, and yet I've already agreed not to say anything. But for the past several days now, I have had a pressing sinus migraine. My ears feel dry, my eyes burn constantly, and I have almost no energy at all. It's slowly driving me bed-ridden and it's putting me on the edge. At times, I feel as though I am going to vomit. I am on the second story of the house and my father is in the basement, but it travels up through the heating ducts or something. I am not sure how, but I do not fail to smell it. Has anybody experienced this, and how did you remedy it? I do not have medical coverage so I can't see a doctor.
Oh! And to make the offenses to my senses worse, those stink-bugs that smell like rotten almonds are back. Ugh. I've taken three of them in my room, already. They... buzz in your ears and stink on your clothing and... blech! I can't take it. I'm about convinced that they're crawling into my head and giving me bizarre nightmares. Like, about giving birth to animals and such...lol. (Don't ask.)
Perhaps the greatest burden is the church one. You see, I haven't actually been to a church since I've been back. I don't know who to go to that I might get to one; nor am I confident in most churches I "could" go to. It's easy to see why this would pull me down. It is true in a sense that I can have my fellowship with God through scripture and prayer on my own, and true in a sense that I still have access to the sermons that are being preached in my church back in Milwaukee, but there is still something missing when I cannot join together with the assembly on the Lord's day. Pray that God will not have me in this painful position for too long, as I know He desires His people to meet together.
In general, I do not hope to stay here any longer than I have to. That being, a wedding which I am in for a friend this summer. (Let me add that this girl and her fiance are two very good friends of mine, and having them here does soften the blow of everything else.) If I went back too early, I'd be making yet another trip here and back, and that's just not realistic for someone who is presently broke.
... On the other hand, I'm not precisely sure where I will go or what I will do to go back to Milwaukee. It has all yet to be made clear. It is as clear that my heart is not here, however. I am badly missing the time I long to spend with my church (who are like family to me,) and my boyfriend, and the friends I left in Milwaukee. But I know that it will allow me to appreciate these things more when I am able to return, God willing. You really never do know what you've got until you've had to leave it behind for a time, do you?
So yeah. That's my "whiney" journal, just to assure you all that I'm still human and have issues of my own.
I say most of this simply to vent and also to ask for your prayers and comfort in these things. It is just good to get them out. I am aware that compared to many situations, I am rather blessed to have what I do. But rest assured, I am and will continue to rely on God for all I can, as we all ought to be. Pray that His Spirit endure with me, even as I become frusterated, and that He drive me to strength, and diligence, and wisdom in the choices I make. Without Him, I would be a sinful wretch, but He is faithful to bring about His will in His people for the sake of His glory, and I praise Him for it.
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